A Mouthful of Salt Water

mood: cynical
music: Terry Riley – In C

I have such a damn hard time coming up with the stones to ask a girl out. This particular time, the length of time required was a paltry three months, and at the apex of this gradual building of courage I stammered out something about meeting for coffee, which Girlbert (v3.0) accepted.

This was followed by a relatively enjoyable hour of sipping my coffee (she ordered tea) and chatting about various light topics, none of which I can remember. I thought the time went smoothly enough, and so it was about four days later when I sent an e-mail proclaiming that I had enjoyed our time, and proposing a second outing in the form of three possible days and activities.

This went unresponded-to.

She finally did mention, when I saw her in person, that she had seen the message and was sorry for not replying, her week had been “crazy”. Fair enough, I said. A few days later I again proposed a weekend visit to several art galleries that would be open for free on Saturday. She was sorry, she said. Previous engagement.

“But thanks for thinking of me.”

And then nothing. No counter-proposal, or “another time, perhaps?”. Just “thanks.” Call me paranoid, but I think I’m pretty good at smelling brush-offs, and further, I’m sure that that was one.

Perhaps I should go about fixing the whole “taking three months to get around to asking” thing. Perhaps this would help me get to the “brush-off” part of the relationship faster; accelerate the process of rejection and help it move along in a more efficient, streamlined fashion.

Isn’t this supposed to get enjoyable at some point? When do I get to the part where we both like each other? Or is that only in the movies? This is the third time I’ve done this, and every time it happens the exact same way. It’s like taking a big gulp of water, only to discover that it was dipped from the ocean.

Exit, stage left.
Sparks