From the brilliant minds at Lysol comes this gadget:
Not pictured: germs
It’s the no-touch automatic soap dispenser! For only $20, you can protect your hands from all those horrible little nasties that lurk around that most contaminated of bacteria-laden filth-spreading home equipment: the soap dispenser.
See, germy disease-ridden hands come along, touch the soap dispenser to get soap, and immediately leave…lord, who knows? E. Coli or leprosy or BUBONIC FREAKING PLAGUE on the dispenser, and the next person to come along gets COOTIES. Nobody wants cooties, right? So this gadget has a nifty little sensor that detects when hands or the cat or whatever is underneath of it, and dispenses soap for you, freeing you from the ever-present fear of a case of necrotizing fasciitis.
Except that you wash your friggin’ hands right after touching the soap dispenser. I’m trying to imagine a scenario where you just sort of…put soap on your hands, then scrape it off and go about your day. Do normal people do this? I’m guessing that most people who touch soap dispensers do so with the intent of dispensing soap onto their hands, which they will then rub together under running water and all the germs will get washed away.
I’m pretty sure what we have here is overpriced useless scare-mongering OMG GERMS crap masquerading as useful technology. Am I missing something?
Exit, stage left.
Sparks