No.

I can't. I won't. There was a reason that this company is offering $19/hr for a freaking helpdesk position. Everything is completely regimented. You must make your 75% availability quota. You must not spend more than seven minutes trying to fix a ticket. You must schedules your breaks around low call volumes. You must not be late, even one second, ever. If you are late more than four times, you're fired. No questions asked.

In my inexplicable zeal to find another position right away, I failed to take into account the old dictum that when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. $19/hr for a helpdesk position. Why, why did I not see that? It's a helpdesk. The hair on the corn in the feces of the IT world. The fast-food position of the corporate world. The company seems oddly upbeat.

"We monitor everything you do! All your e-mails, all your phone calls, everything. Just letting you know! Big smile!"

"If you're late, we'll kill you and send the chunks of your body to the various other employees to let them know JUST HOW BAD IT IS if you're one unit of Planck time late. Big smile!"

I won't do it. Now I know why I've always refused helpdesk positions when they've come my way before. Because they SUCK harder than the 8 lb. Orek XL, a fantastic vacuum cleaner which, I'm assured by the color brochures, can pick up a bowling ball. Everything is so regimented. Only your calls themselves are unscripted. They record everything you do, and they'll send you recorded conversations around to whomever. You are watched for any sign of deviation by men with minds of metal and wheels. It's not so much a place to work as it is a zoo for overweight greasy-haired IT nerds who couldn't make the cut to desktop support.

I don't regret my decision to go looking in other places for employment, because [my recruiting company] really was falling behind the curve. But seriously, I should have been calling my recruiter long before now saying "My contract is ending, what do you have?"

I will only do helpdesk as long as I have to to survive. My only concern is eating and paying my rent and gas money. Even my previous contract, which wasn't exactly "high-level" IT work (Install the printers, install the apps, final check, wrap it up and send it out, would you like fries with that?) it at least let me get up and move around, and it was fun, something that this job lacks.

I suppose it can always get worse, no matter where you are. I suppose won't forget that anytime soon.

Exit, stage left. Sparks