The spelling of the following has been intentionally left intact.

"Hey Craig,

I was able to schedule you for FOH on the 30th & 1st. Greg Best is going to run camera. I would like to let you know my expectations for the FOH since things have changed some since you last did that. I would greatly appreciate it if you did not touch any of the EQ settings, right now everyone is very happy with the way the auditorium sounds. Also while you are running the board I would like you to remain open to outside input whether it be from me Jacob, or Jeff M. If I hear that you are being a pain in the arse it will be a long time before you run FOH again. I am not saying this trying to act like your father or anything I am just trying to be absolutely clear to you what my expectations are knowing your history with running the FOH console. I truly do appreeciate you're willingness & desire to remain a part of the creative team here at the church & I am truly greatful for your graciousness when I am in a jam & ask questions.

Peace Pete."

Uh, wow. Clearly, I should not question his EQ mastery, and make sure not to throw a hissyfit when something goes wrong. (For those playing the home game, "Pete" is the guy who took over my post as technical director after I left.

I think this is the point where I say "If you have any more problems, you can ask Google.".

Exit, stage left. Sparks