I feel as though I have the weight of the universe on my shoulders.

I'm inching towards complete insanity, brought on by my job. Every week something bad happens that I simply cannot prevent. Today a video switcher died. Mick called and couldn't make it. Ben doesn't have an effing clue what he's doing on lights. (Side rant: Does it take a fucking rocket scientist to understand the concept of rhythm? You change the damn lights on the downbeat, how hard is that? Hello? Can you clap your hands? Can you count to four? There ya go? Good God.) A random person playing acoustic guitar showed up. Then a sax player, who also played acoustic guitar. And of course, he refused to wear in-ears, making my job harder. Idiot.

Tom complained that a video that I had nothing to do with was "a little blurry". SO SORRY TOM - what the hell do you want me to do about it? Two people left comment cards last week saying the music was too loud. Kay, thanks, i'll get right on that. Tonight as I was trying to fix the stupid video switcher that died, Jeff Mullen called. He wanted all the horn section put on the floor by tomorrow, in a long line. The complete needlessness of this aside, now I have to go in early to pull two peices of staging apart, put them away, and rerun cables and mics and re-place music stands and spend fifteen minutes refocusing lights so Jeff can keep his delusion that "he just calls someone, and stuff happens!".

There's a song by David Crowder that goes "I've had enough / to break me in two / to tear me apart / what am I to do?". That's exactly how I feel right now. How can I possibly keep the technology at Point of Grace working, and keep my sanity at the same time? I feel like I'm being pulled apart.